Claire Channels Doris Day

My friend Ann has an odd little quirk. When she has been drinking, she starts using expressions that she would never normally use in conversation. The kinds of expressions that you usually only hear from old people, such as ‘when it gets down to brass tacks’.

Ann was visiting recently and it was apparent that she had consumed a couple of drinks before her arrival. She requested a beer and I gave it to her. It was obvious that she was not in any shape to drive anyway. I told her that she could not drive herself home and she was not pleased with me. She finally agreed to a ride but was still annoyed. I kept expecting her to threaten to ‘clean my clock’ or ‘fix my wagon’.

Claire also uses old-fashioned expressions on occasion. There is just something so cute about a little kid saying things like 'that would be lovely.' Of course there was the time she referred to a particular kind of cracker as ‘delightful’. She has been adding others as well. I think it might have to do with her fondness for Doris Day movies, which is also odd, come to think of it.

Yesterday she informed me that she told one of her friends that her birthday party was this weekend instead of next.

Claire- “I told Hallie that my party is THIS Saturday, not next.”

Me- “Uh-oh. You’re going to have to go back over and tell her it’s next weekend.”

Claire- “I know. And I heard her mom tell her that they needed to go out and buy me a present right away.”

Me- “Oh, no.”

Claire- “I know. I’m really in a pickle now.”

I’m pretty sure she was sober.