Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Car Trip with Kids, cont.

Vacation update- I’m done with these people. I've had enough and I want my life back. I am SO over it I can’t even tell you.

The baby doesn’t understand bedtime in hotels since she is trapped in a playpen, which is the new version of the hotel crib. She has also discovered that the Capri Sun stash in the cooler is far better than her standard fare of milk in a tippy cup. The cooler is located in the second row seat right next to her so now she paws at the cooler saying, “ba-ba, ba-ba” which is baby talk for give me a damn Capri Sun before I freak. So, she had like twenty today.

C, (previously known as DH) is getting on my nerves and I am quite sure that the reverse is true as well. He has a bad nail biting habit that is driving me fucking nuts. Every time I look over he has his hands in his mouth. Today I was so disgusted I finally said, “Jesus Christ, you’ve got your hands in your mouth more than that baby does.”
Yes, it’s going well.

The drive today was no fun at all. C picked the route and we were all surprised to find that there was nothing along the drive more exciting than people with gang tattoos when we got lost in Pueblo. Well, I shouldn’t say lost. C just missed a turn and according to him, my map reading skills are lacking. My version is a little different. More like, maybe you should have told me if I was supposed to know where we were going, because I was just planning on looking out the fucking window waiting for it to be over with.

The girls are enjoying beating the hell out of each other at different hotels each night. They like staying up late and dominate the tv. Tonight I was surprised to find them watching ‘Sex and the City’. I thought it was a nice break from ‘Hannah Montana’ but their father wasn’t quite as excited.

The girls are also enjoying swimming and the complimentary continental breakfast. The first night we stayed at a place with a fairly nice breakfast that included fresh waffles. It has gone a bit downhill for a few of the hotels with the breakfast being comprised of dried up muffins and generic Fruit Loops. Tomorrow is a big day, though. The desk clerk didn’t have any prison tattoos and I think they might have scrambled eggs.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I love it!!! FINALLY a TRUE vacation story!!!!!! OMG! It's like dejavu!! OMG, I'm dying, laughing so hard!! I have been on that SAME vacation.. SEVERAL TIMES!!! We're divorced now.. Hahahaha.. OMG.. Hysterical..
So it's probably safe to say that the word "relaxing" isn't coming into play on your vacation? You should title your next post "Highway To Hell!" (I'm sure AC/DC won't mind..)

Mia said...

that cracked me the hell up hehehehe... I felt like i was there with ya hehehe..

but hey, a morning with warm toast and no tats.. things could be looking up!

mia

Lesley said...

oh god...I am so sorry that I'm laughing...I'd say I'm laughing with you...but I'm not sure I hear you even cracking a smile...Road trips..really are a bitch...no matter who you are...so at least you aren't alone...not sure that makes you feel any better....

Julia said...

That sounds like a simply lovely car trip to me. I cant imagine anything more enjoyable than a baby on a juice high, two Hanna converts to SITC, and a DH eating his hands. Happy times those.

Jack said...

I like road trips. I really do. Of course, all my kids have moved out, and there are only rational adults in the car.

And, I never ask Mrs. B to read a map. It's a lose-lose situation. If I make a wrong turn, it's my fault. If she tells me to make a turn, and it's wrong, it's still my fault for asking.

Anonymous said...

WE NEED MORE COWBELL!!
Where are the updates??
Can't wait for the next post!

bernthis said...

Sorry, I can't...ahem...cough...be ther with you. It sounds....um....ah....like so much fun!

Anonymous said...

I love this! The truth about family road trips. It really, really does get better when they all get older. We just finished a vacation and on the last night at dinner my daughter pointed out that we hadn't even yelled at each other this trip.