After 46 years of marriage, my parents are on the verge of divorce. What this means to me is that they both call incessantly to complain about each other. Here is a recent conversation with my mom.
Mom- “I never should have married your father. I was having second thoughts on our wedding day.”
Me- “Uh, didn’t you sort of have to marry him? I mean, Lynn was born just FIVE months after you got married.”
Mom- “I didn’t even know I was pregnant. Besides, I never had sex before we got married.”
Mom- “I said that I never had sex! All we had done was fool around.”
Me, shocked and having boundary issues- “Huh?”
Mom- “Oh, Lisa, for God’s sake, I said that I hadn’t even had sex!”
Me- “Well, I guess that would be the SECOND time that has happened.”
Mom- "You need to knock it off."