Thursday, February 14, 2008

The One Where I Get What's Coming to Me

I know, I know. You must be shocked to see that I have a new post on Valentine’s Day. It HAS been really hard to find time to write, what with all the chaos of accepting flower deliveries and all. Really. Not. Really. Ok, not.

Ok, moving on then. This is where you are being warning that the subject matter may be a little disturbing, if you are male anyway.

Yesterday, I was talking to my sister on the phone and she was explaining why she was still using her crap phone that cuts out every other word.

L- “Well, I was going to get a new phone. I went to the Sprint store but couldn’t go in.”
Me- “Why did you go all the way there and not go in?” (It's 30 minutes from her house)
L- “Well, I got out of the car and as soon as I stood up, I discovered that my period was running down my leg.”
Me- “What?? You had no idea?”
L- “Nope, no cramps or anything.”
Me- “Didn’t you know it was about time for that?”
L- “I don’t know. I think it was about the 15th last month.”
Me- “Hmm. So, exactly 28 days ago and you still didn’t know.”
L- “Well, I guess I wasn’t thinking about it.”
Me- “What did you do?”
L- “I got in the car and drove home.”
Me- “Are you kidding me? Didn’t you have a tampon or anything?”
L- “Nope. I just drove home. It’s not like I could go in anywhere.”
Me- “Jesus, your car must look like a crime-scene.”
Then I continue, gloating a bit – “I am SO glad I haven’t had to deal with that in ages.”

I woke up this morning with cramps. In other news, I discovered hamster litter in my underwear again.


S said...

"Well, we'll just say where we are then go back to the car; we really don't want to be any trouble..." - Rocky Horror reference...

Mahala said...

Hamster litter? Do I want to know?

Lisa said...

Ok, I guess I should explain the hamster litter thing.

Since the girls got their hamsters for Christmas, there has been litter all over. It's not like every surface is covered, more like you'll just find it if you look carefully. Like mushroom-hunting. Except without the fun. Or the mushrooms.

dawn224 said...

snicker. I totally thought you meant a litter OF hamsters in your underwear!

thrice said...

Oh, but when it returns after being absent for QUITE a while? Oh, just the crimson geysering fun of it all. NOT.

Doug said...

Oh, gag. Not two girls one cup gag, but as a male, I do not want to read about periods running anywhere. To me, a period is what stops a run-on sentence.

I should have headed your warning.