I Believe (one more time.....)

This is something that I wrote a couple of years ago. I was just reminded of writing it after the death of a family friend a few days ago. I know she shared many of my same values. She died too young, leaving a husband and a two year old son. So I'm sharing once more for Kris.





The holiday season is now officially in full swing. For many of us that means spending more time with friends and family not to mention cooking and shopping. But I think it’s also a time to reflect on our own priorities and values and generally become a little more introspective.


I just wanted to share some of my own beliefs and priorities with anyone that cares to listen.

I believe that friends and family are important. I remind myself everyday just how lucky I am to have my children. I take joy in the baby learning to point to something yellow and proudly announce, “Ye-yo!” followed by enthusiastic clapping. I love listening to her yell “ All done!” when she is finished napping and awaiting rescue from the confines of her crib. I feel Claire’s pain when she tells me that she didn’t get to sit with her friend at lunch and was instead forced to sit with the ‘mean girls.’ Katie makes me laugh everyday with her amazingly quick wit. I am incredibly proud that my sons have turned out to be genuinely good and moral people that will go out of their way to help others.

I believe that sometimes it takes some work to be happy. It’s important to be willing to be happy and be open to all the possibilities that life has to offer.

I believe in trying to become a better person.

I believe in never purposely hurting others, even someone that you think has it coming. I have the opinion that everyone has enough problems. No one needs someone deliberately trying to hurt them.

I believe in learning from mistakes, but not dwelling on them. Learning from mistakes also means admitting that you have made them. There is no upside to blaming others for your problems. Sometimes the only good thing that comes from a given situation is the life lesson you can take from it. If you don’t see your own role and get caught up in playing the victim, then you have taken away the potential for growth.

I believe that sometimes we all have to force ourselves to do things that we don’t want to do and make us uncomfortable. That’s part of being a grown-up.

I believe that it is acceptable to wallow in self-pity for exactly five minutes. Then it’s time to work on a solution.

I believe in having goals. If you don’t know where you want to go, how in the world will you ever get there?

I believe in forgiveness. I also believe that you can forgive but also not repeat the same mistake.

I believe in the importance of being polite and well mannered. I also believe that children need to be taught these skills.

I believe in firm boundaries. I have a clear idea of what is right and what is wrong. I have learned to stand my ground and I will not give on important issues.

I believe in compromise. Not all issues are equally important to both parties. Sometimes it’s important to put the needs of others before your own.

I believe in tolerance of others even if they are different from you and you disagree with their opinions.

I believe that parents should control their children in public places.

I believe that restaurant portions are too large for one person.

I believe that we should be careful about judging. It is incredibly easy to think you know how you would handle a given situation until you are faced with it. As Jack Handy used to say, “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes."

I believe in working hard and working smart.

I believe in honesty. It’s a lot simpler than trying to keep your story straight.

I believe in loyalty. You never ever screw over your family or friends. Ever.

I believe in helping others whenever you have the opportunity.

I believe that children should have early bedtimes.

I believe that the notion of karma is not mystical or magical but just good common sense. Which person is more likely to have people to turn to for help in bad times, the person that lives a good life helping others or the one that is not bothered by hurting others? What goes around does come around. Think about it and don’t forget to pass it along.

I believe in reminding people of their great qualities. We all tend to focus on the negative feedback we receive. Maybe if everyone had more positive interactions, that could help outweigh the bad. The world could be a happier place.

I believe that people have the capability to change provided that they also have the will.

I believe in treating others with respect. I have also learned that there is no hope for being respected when you have no respect for yourself.

I believe Dr. Phil when he says that we teach people how to treat us.

I believe in persevering. My philosophy is that a yes is a yes and a no is a maybe.

I believe in communication. I think that adults should be able to discuss differences without arguing.

I believe in having enough foresight to see the potential for trouble in a given situation and having the sense to correct it before it turns into a problem. For example, a child that wants to eat spaghetti on your new sofa. This same concept is applicable in many areas of life. It is far easier to simply avoid trouble.

I believe that’s about all I can think of.

My Friends are a Class Act all the Way

Andrea- “ So, I went to court this morning and I brought jeans and a t-shirt to change into after. Then I went back to my office and closed the door to change. I slid on the jeans that I’d worn a few days before and realized that there was something inside of them. A soft bulge along the back of my thigh. So I shook my pant leg until it fell out and I saw that it was the dirty underwear that I’d worn a few days before.”

The Best Part? No Room for Kids....

Last weekend I got a scooter. A couple of days ago my friend Andrea got her new scooter. So we spent some time scootering around town this weekend. Andrea was initially afraid to ride her scooter but quickly threw caution to the wind despite her history of clumsiness.

Our first stop on our scooter excursion was the gas station to fill up her tank. This should have been easily accomplished but it took quite a bit longer than we had planned. The first gas station was closed and the second did not have the right kind of gas. Upon arriving at the third gas station, I deliberately parked ahead of her because of the risk of her scooter falling over on mine.

I helped her get it on the kickstand then she unlocked her gas cap. She then realized her debit card was locked in the seat, replaced the gas cap, unlocked the seat compartment to get her card, unlocked the gas cap again and finally began filling up.

The pump stopped at $1.58 causing Andrea to look in saying, “I think I can get a little more in.”

After cleaning up the spilled gas we were finally able to ride. I sat a safe distance away as Andrea attempted to start her engine. She wasn’t having any luck with the electric starter and used the kick-start instead. She had already done that earlier in the day so I thought that she knew what she was doing.

For those unfamiliar with scooters, in order to kick-start you have to stand on the side. It’s a little awkward to hold the scooter up so I thought she was on the center stand like she had been earlier. She wasn’t.

It started right up and since she was giving it gas, it was taking off. Yeah, I know, bad scene. With her standing right next to it, which quickly changed to running right next to it with a surprised look on her face. Fortunately she figured out that it would stop once she quit giving it gas. One of the witnesses was on a Harley and he is probably still shaking his head and laughing. He was probably thinking 'if only I had I nickel for every time that happened when I first started riding...."

We made our way down side streets to another friend’s house (Ann). Andrea only had one close call when she misjudged her speed and came up pretty close behind me. I decided at that point that I was safer following her and a few feet to the side, just in case. No sense in both of us ending up in a heap of twisted metal after all.

Ann, an experienced scooter rider, gave Andrea a quick lesson on starting her scooter with the electric start. We rode over to an auction but tired of that after a while and were back on our scooters. It was decided that we would go over to Ann’s new house next.

Sticking to my plan of avoiding Andrea, I rode behind and to the right. I saw her get distracted by her rear-view mirror and attempt to adjust it while zipping down the road, not slowing, just weaving. I couldn’t help but think about the episode of ‘Six Feet Under’ when the guy decides to reach down and pick up his newspaper as he’s backing down the driveway and then accidentally runs over his own head.

We made it to Ann’s house and I coached Andrea before following Ann up the steep driveway.
Me- “You have to get your angle just right.”

Andrea didn’t respond but followed behind. Ann and I were at the end of the driveway when I saw Andrea in my mirror. She had made it up the steep grade but somehow went to the left instead of straight and had ended up in a neighbor’s yard. We were laughing at her for a few seconds as we turned off our own scooters. Then I saw her going backwards down the steep driveway before quickly crashing on the concrete. We ran to help thinking that it was really bad but Andrea was laughing. She finally yelled at us to get it off of her because she was pinned on her side, waving her free arm and one leg, reminding me of a bug on it’s back.

We looked her over checking for injuries and found mostly small scrapes. I brushed the dirt and debris off her back just as she turned her head to look at her scooter, accidentally throwing dirt in her mouth. I’m just helpful that way.

We then questioned her about what had happened. She said she wasn’t sure how she ended up in the yard but then she thought that she could just back it out, down the driveway. She forgot to use the brakes.

Andrea- “That’s when it all went terribly wrong.”