Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The Crazy and the Crazy Killers

I haven’t written about my sister for a while but it’s not because she isn’t still interesting. Or embarrassing. It’s more that I just get tired of the crazy and sometimes writing about it starts to feel like crazy overload. Lynne was have trouble with the police recently and was calling me all the time to tell me about it. She would complain that they were always driving by and watching her. I doubt that was the paranoia. I think that if they have any idea at all it would behoove them to keep an eye on her.

She was bothering neighbors this year and evidently a couple of them actually turned her in. One neighbor saw my dad outside and told him that he needed to do something about her. That brings me back to something that really pisses me off. People always seem to have this idea that the family just doesn’t know or want to be bothered. The reality is that you can be pretty crazy and there is nothing that anyone can do to help. If you’re new here, please check out a few of these stories to get an idea of the frustration involved in trying to get help for a mentally ill family member. Here's a good one.

Lynne’s harassment of the neighbor’s continued and the police continued driving by. Then they stepped it up a notch and started knocking on her door. Which in turn stepped up the crazy phone calls to my house.

Lynne- “I don’t know what those people want but they were at the door.”

Me- “What people?”

Lynne- “The police.”

Me- “Didn’t you answer the door?”

Lynne- “Hell, no, I didn’t answer the door! For all I know, they might want to haul me off.”

Me- “So you just pretended not to be home? Like Grandma used to do when we had to play the “hiding game” when the Jehovah’s Witnesses were in the neighborhood?”

Lynne, sounding smug.- “Yep.”

A few days later there was another frantic call.

Lynne- “Jesus Christ, they were here again!”

Me- “Huh? The police?

Lynne- “Yes, those bastards.”

Me- “Well, what did they want?”

Lynne- “I don’t know! I didn’t answer the door. Do you think I’m crazy or something? I just know that I didn’t call them and I don’t want any part of it.”

Me- “Well, if you don’t answer the door then how are you going to find out what they want?”

Lynne, screeching- “I don’t give a fuck what they want! I just climbed out my bedroom window for Christ’s sake!”

I couldn’t respond for a while because I was laughing too hard. They eventually caught up with her outside and just advised her to leave the neighbors alone.

My mom called a few days ago to tell me that there were a couple of murderers loose in Lynne’s small town.

Mom- “It was in the paper. They beat some guy to death and they haven’t found them yet. I’m not telling Lynne.”

I thought that was pretty funny but still, I thought maybe she should have a head’s up on actual killers loose in town, as opposed to the regular thing where she just thinks the neighbors are trying to kill her.


Julia said...

You just can't make that stuff up. Your family must have a lot of patience. And the climbing out the window scene must have been hysterical from a fly on the wall view.

Lisa said...

No, you can't. My opinion is that I have to laugh about this stuff. Even though it is very difficult for my family, I still try to find the humor.

I wish I could have seen her going out that window!

Deb S. Iowa said...

She climbed out the window? Was it the upstairs window of her old bedroom at the house you grew up in? That would be a sight. And there are other nuts in the little small town. We both know a few. :)

Lisa said...

Deb- Not the upstairs window. She moved to the downstairs bedroom. Then she ran through the neighborhood....

Farmers Wife said...

I really do like Lynne....

S said...

Was she wearing her high-heeled boots?

Bulldog said...

Everyone simply can't be after Lynne. They're too busy being after me . . .

Bulldog said...

Lisa, your blog has apparently become a spam magnet. I wouldn't be paranoid about it, though.