Thursday, July 09, 2009

Yeah, Size DOES Matter...

The following a text conversation that I had a couple of days ago with my friend Ann. I had emailed her a link to a supplement called 7-Keto. It’s good for your immune function, weight loss, etc.

Ann- What is that 7 Keto stuff and r u calling me fat?

Me- No dummy. I started taking it because it is good for immune function and anti aging. It can just also cause weight loss.

Ann- Cool fatso.

Me- I’m taking it so I can keep lying about my age since it’s for anti aging.

Ann- Where did you get it old hag?

Me- Health food store.

Ann- I am going to get some so I am a skinny 23 year old.

Me- You can always try. I think at this point I’d settle for DOING a 23 year old.

Ann- U lie like a rug. An old rug.

Ann- So what’s that stuff called again?

Me- 7 keto.

Me- It has given me more energy. You know, for that 23 year old…

Ann- Right

Me- I know. The 23 year olds are practically lining up. Wait. That didn’t sound right..

Ann- I want to see that.

Me- Perv

The last time I wrote about texting I was talking about how some of my texts look like they are from someone crazy or at the very least, illiterate. That’s because I should always have my glasses on when attempting to use a phone. Which brings me to my current complaint. Why is it that cell phone are getting so tiny?

Mine came with a little stylus, which is just about the right size for a very small person. And by small what I really mean is a dwarf. Or a midget. I get confused about which ones have the proportionate extremities. Although I think that we are supposed to call all of them little people now. Which brings me back to very small people again and that is a little ambiguous if you ask me.

I don’t have an unusually small cell phone and I do have fairly small hands for someone of a normal stature. My friend Dave, on the other hand, (pardon the pun) has hands the size of a baseball mitt and fingers that mostly resemble bratwurst. I would think that he could accidentally be calling Finland on occasion.

Other than the size of the tiny little keyboard I also object to the tiny little screen, with it’s tiny little fonts. I have been wondering if it is possible to enlarge the font so I can read it more easily. Then I realized that is exactly why they make those Jitterbug phones for old people. According to the web site:
The powerful speaker has a familiar dial tone just like your phone at home
Notice that 'powerful speaker' is code for this phone is not only great if you have trouble seeing but it'll work if you're deaf, too!

I had to look it up to find a picture to post here and had some trouble finding it initially. Because I thought it was called a June bug. Then I realized that no one would want to buy something that buzzed and was called a June bug. At least I wouldn’t.

Anyway the Jitterbug has great big toddler-friendly (or old people-friendly) buttons and a large display. The only real problem that I can see is having to lug around a phone the size of a shoebox.


Julia said...

I have seen the jitterbug adds on TV, late night TV. And I still don't get all this texting stuff. I thought phones were for talking. But I'm just an ancient fat wrinkly hag though.

bernthis said...

!. those are the reasons I tossed the storm back to verizon

2. I'm with you on getting that 23 year old. Pass him over here when you're done

Anonymous said...

I need a Jitterbug - do fingers get fatter with age, too - if so I need some of that Keto stuff, too. Man this getting older thing is a b**ch!

b said...

I, too, suffer from cell shrink-itits. I love when folks text me because 1/2 the time I can't read what it sayd with or without my glasses. Oh well I guess that's why teens can text faster than a speeding bullet and us "old folks" need a full QWERTY keyboard to even text words that make sense.

Thanks for the laugh

Farmers Wife said...

I love Ann....