You're Not From Here, Are Ya?

A few years ago, we moved from a large college town to a small town not too far away. Let’s call this town Pleasantville. Pleasantville is filled with beautiful old houses and more than a few Victorian-era mansions. To some extent, it also feels like it has been paused in a different time. People here are very friendly, even with newcomers. On Halloween, the streets are filled with children, running from house to house, collecting candy- regardless of whether they know the occupants. It might sound reckless, considering that in most places that would be unthinkable, but it’s the norm here. We did not know about Halloween however, since we moved just a few weeks before.

Beyond the Norman Rockwell appearance of the town, the other thing I noticed initially was not quite as charming. It was that there seemed to be a lot of people with missing teeth. I don’t mean a molar here or there. I mean right in the front and many times multiple missing teeth. It puzzled me that there were so many people that didn’t seem to think it was important. Men, women, of all ages were walking around like this was normal. I recall standing at the deli counter and being startled when the woman smiled. It was everywhere. I can’t even tell you how ugly it was at the bowling alley. All I’ll say about that is that they tend to be big people, too.


I’m a big believer in dental hygiene. I must have floss with me at all times. The idea of losing a tooth is completely unacceptable to me. If a dentist told me that I was going to lose a tooth but it could be saved for a million dollars-my question would be “Do you have a payment plan?”


I remember going to an event when we had first moved to town. It was a bar that had a D.J. and they were doing karaoke on a Saturday night. Andrea was visiting and we thought it would be a fun ‘small-town’ kind of thing to watch. It turned out that is was a lot of fun. It just wasn’t pretty.

At the end of the evening the D.J. thanked everyone for coming and wished everyone a good Halloween. I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “Jesus Christ, I thought it was Halloween.”

Speaking of Halloween, Claire has suggested that she might want to dress up as a jack-o-lantern this year. I have told her that would be a good choice since she is missing her top front tooth. Yesterday she lost another tooth at school. It had been hanging by a thread for at least a week and then fell out in the lunch line. According to Claire, it hit the floor before she even knew it was out. One of the lunch ladies noticed the napkin she held to her mouth and got her a little envelope to put her tooth in. She also got this, the coveted “Missing Tooth Award.”

I’m thinking about having some made up to keep in my purse. Not for the kids though.

Just in case I ever have to go back to the bowling alley.