T.P. for Dave's Bunghole (sorry about the Beavis and Butthead reference, but I couldn't resist)

Buying toilet paper is something that I find irritating. If I am in a hurry, I tend to just grab some Charmin. If I am not in such a rush, I might try to figure out which package is actually the best buy. There are usually several that are marked down at any given time. I end up frustrated because of the difficulty in comparing the different products.

We have regular rolls, big rolls, double rolls, gigantic rolls, mega-rolls and the ever-present ‘large rolls.” We also have a variety of package sizes to confuse the issue, of bathroom tissue, even further. Are you better off buying 9 large rolls versus 12 double rolls for $5.99? I certainly don’t know. Does anyone?

I saw a toilet paper commercial a couple of weeks ago that was extolling the virtues of their new and stronger toilet paper. They were claiming that it was far stronger than their leading competitor. I have never given any thought to the strength of my toilet paper. I’m not using toilet paper for any jobs that might require it to be stronger than the average roll. I briefly wondered exactly who might be concerned that their toilet paper wasn’t strong enough. My concerns are more along the lines of whether it is a decent value, softness and if I can go for more than three hours without putting a new roll on the holder. What with the mechanical difficulty of performing this task, I seem to be the only one in the house that is competent to perform the task. Those of you out there with teenagers know what I’m talking about. For some reason, my teenager will simply balance the new roll on top of the empty one. If I did not intervene, I’m quite sure that everyone else in the house would assume that is just how we do things now.

The bottom line (pardon the pun) is that evidently, strength CAN be an issue.

I saw Dave and Ann a few days ago and believe it or not, he was complaining about toilet paper.
Dave previously on another subject but transitioning to his latest concern-“Speaking of disgusting, have you tried that Member’s Mark” toilet paper?”
Me- “No, why? What’s wrong with it?
Dave- “It’s just thin and weak. My fingers break through it. Then it just kind of rolls up in my crack.”
Me- “Hmm.”
Ann- “That’s disgusting. Do you wash well after that?”
Dave- “Not really.”