Knee Surgery and the Kicking Baby

I had my second knee surgery last week. It went a lot better than the first. My biggest complaint was probably the horrible dry mouth I woke up with in recovery. I remember complaining about that to the recovery room nurse and she told me that it was from the KY jelly they use for the airway. I would have sworn they used Elmer’s glue to secure it in my mouth. To make matters worse, they gave me toast. I was so hungry but the toast mixed with the glue was just a bad deal. Beyond that, I had to use crutches for just a few days but now no longer have a limp and I can walk up and down stairs. Last time I was lurching around like Frankenstein for at least a month.

The baby was thrilled with the crutches, again. It is great fun for her to grab one, laugh and run, fully expecting that the chase is on. Try talking a 20 month-old baby into returning a crutch. Yeah. Doesn’t work.

It is also a challenge to change a diaper on a not always cooperative toddler. 20 months is not exactly known as an age of reason, to put it mildly. I have to be very careful with the diaper changes since Marin is likely to kick.

I told Marin that I had an owie and showed her the bandages. Now she looks at my knee, points and says, “Owie” right before she kicks me.

I'm Back

I had the knee surgery on Wednesday. In order to prepare, I spent a lot of time cleaning the house. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do much for a while. I’m convinced that cleaning the house prior to surgery is one of those things that women do but most men would never think of.

I remember being wheeled into the OR following a dose of IV antibiotics and some “happy” drugs. I moved to the OR table from the gurney and someone put a mask over my face, telling me it was just oxygen and to take some deep breaths. Someone else was cleaning the knee labeled ‘yes’ with Betadine as I complied with the deep breaths. Then I was out. I was in surgery for about an hour and woke up shortly after in recovery. My leg hurt like hell and my throat was sore. I was given shots of morphine and Toradol by the recovery room nurse.

The surgeon came in to talk to me and told me that the meniscus was not torn. He said that there was a bunch of junk under the patella that had needed to be removed. He said on a scale of 1 to 10, it was about a 7. I can’t remember exactly the term he used for ‘junk’, due to my drug-induced haze.

Soon I was moved to the next recovery area where they give you food and make you walk. I had some pudding, toast and hot tea and learned how to walk on crutches. A little while later I got the green light to go home. I coordinated with my ride, DH, which does not stand for darling husband by the way.

One of the nurses helped me out to the car and we were on our way. I was feeling fine until we stopped at a gas station for a drink. The anti-nausea medication had worn off and I was suddenly ill. I broke out into a sweat and fought the urge to throw up. I had my window down and I was taking snow from the car to put on my face. I then called the surgeon’s office and requested medicine for the nausea.

Getting into the house was a bit tricky, due to the snow and ice. One of the crutches slipped on the stairs and I almost fell. I learned that it requires more care to walk on crutches and paying attention is imperative. The baby thinks the crutches are fascinating and whenever I sit down, she steals them. If I’m walking, she ‘helps’.

I’m still on crutches and it has been six days now. I am close to giving them up since I can tolerate some weight on my leg now.

It has been difficult for me to rest as much as I am supposed to. There are things that are impossible for me to do now, which is frustrating. Yesterday I needed a box from the basement and I couldn’t get down the narrow stairs. I tried to get Claire to do it but she was afraid to go alone. So, Claire asked Katie to go with her but she was afraid to do it.

Claire- “Come on, Katie!”
Katie- “But we’re wearing dresses and spiders could go up our legs!”

So far, the best part about knee surgery is the fact that I cannot take care of kids with the stomach flu. All three little girls have it and they have thrown up a lot.

Just So You Know, This Whole Post Made me REALLY Hungry for a Burrito

In the last ten days or so, I have seen the orthopedic surgeon for knee pain. A few days after that I had an MRI. Then it was back to the surgeon’s office again to discuss the results. Each event required a 25 minute trip from Pleasantville to a nearby by town that isn’t nearly as Pleasant. They make up for it by having a Taco Bell. Being a creature of habit, each one of my medical visits was followed up by a Burrito Supreme. I do have a tendency to get set in my ways when it comes to food. Sometimes I’ll eat the same thing for lunch several days in a row and I don’t mind.

It’s really not that I am super-picky. It’s more that I know how much I like the Burrito Supreme. Sometimes I make an effort to try something different, but that can always lead to disappointment. The last time I went to the gynecologist, I ordered a Taco Salad right afterward and it was a huge letdown. The Burrito Supreme never lets me down. Although I did accidentally order a beef burrito once and that was awful. For some reason on that particular visit, I completely forgot what I normally ordered.

I’m having knee surgery in a couple of weeks. I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 in the morning, which sounds horrifying to a non-morning person such as myself. But at least I won’t have to be there long. Anymore they let you go so quickly after surgery. I’m already starting to wonder if Taco Bell will even be open when I’m done. Or maybe they open early for breakfast, which I would have no reason to know. All I know for sure is that they are open late. And that is only because they have a sign in the window that says so. Right next to the sign that encourages you to make Taco Bell your "fourth meal." Because it's obvious that Americans aren't fat enough on just three meals a day.

Let’s just say that it’s likely I will be loaded by the time I get there. God only knows what I’ll order. I guess it doesn't really matter. That fourth meal can be pretty much whatever you want.

The one thing that’s for sure is that I won’t be moving any faster than those old people I always reference so fondly. I'll have crutches, not a walker so let's just clear that one up right now.