Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Potty Training Sucks

I wrote about the family visit to the zoo not long ago. The zoo was pretty exciting for them and they still bring it up on occasion. Katie brought it up most recently.

Katie- "Can you buy animals there?"

Me- "No. You can just look at them that's all."

Katie- "Well, who do they belong to then?"

Me- "The zoo people."

Katie- "If the zoo people own them then why weren't they wearing any collars?"

I had to admit that I hadn't thought of that one.

Then Claire started complaining that they hadn't sen any anteaters. I was getting tired of the zoo talk by then and had yet another proud parenting moment. I suggested that maybe they fed them to the tigers.

Speaking of talking, Marin's language skills have really taken off. A few weeks ago she had a really bad poopy diaper and upon breaking the seal I was assaulted by a horrendous odor. I said, "Oh, boy." Now Marin frequently says "Oh, boy" and laughs when I change her pants. She is gradually making the transition to the potty but we're not quite done with the diapers yet.

Marin has been more excited about potty training than any kid in the history of potty training. I have not had to bribe her with M&M's, which is downright odd, if you ask me. The problem that I have is that she won't get off the potty. That and she puts things in there that clearly have no place in the potty. Like her hands, entire rolls of toilet paper and more than one Webkin belonging to her sisters. Katie relinquished ownership of her favorite stuffed dog after that little incident. Despite having gone through the laundry, she claimed that it still didn't smell right.

Marin is good about the potty as far as sitting on it, willingly. It's just that she hates her little potty and wants to use the other one. She sits on her potty occasionally but then her sense of order requires that it be emptied every 15 seconds or so. And if I'm not standing there at the ready, she'll do it herself. Which is another problem in and of itself. The little potty is used primarily for standing on to wash her hands using insane amounts of soap and then turning the light off and on repeatedly.

But that only happens when I finally manage to dislodge her from the big potty, kicking and screaming. Here is an example of a typical potty session.

Marin- "Potty! Potty! My potty!" At this point she is taking off her diaper and possibly other articles of clothing as well.

Me- "Ok, but you let me help you."

Marin- "No! My do it! Potty!"

Me- "No hands in the potty, ok? Potties are for butts only."

Marin, squealing with delight- "Poop!"

Then I am required to spend the next 15 minutes alternating between handing her toilet paper, begging her to quit flushing and for the love of God, to please get off the potty.

I just had an epiphany. I need the M&M's to lure her out of the bathroom....


Stacie said...

Oh Lisa, you're not giving me any potty training hope for my baby girl in the months to come.

You're supposed to say how easy girls are to train and that it's going fabulously.

Oh wait, this is your blog, right. Well, come to my blog and lie to me so when it's my turn, I will think it's a piece of cake.

Anonymous said...

Having raised 4 children - 3 boys, 1 girl - and made it thru potty training with I'm sure flying colors, I was placed in the position of potty training my 2 yr. old grandson. I used gumballs as his reward, which is odd because I don't remember doing more than clapping with my 4.. But the 2nd round of potty training is nearly complete. A pull up at night and that's all, very few accidents during the transition altho those few accidents always seemed to take place in the middle of my livingroom on my new carpet.. BUT, the goal has been met.
I never had the problem of getting any of them off the potty. Maybe M&M's is the way to go.
Good Luck! You can do it! =)

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bernthis said...

I sooo relate to the ton of water used to wash hands which is a big no no here in CA where we haven't seen rain since 08 or so it feels like

down pillow said...

Holy Moses, these are the conversations I have at least once a week! How funny!

Julia said...

Oh happy days!! Ella was in this vein of potty training. I still have to watch out though since she wants to do the extra tp thing too even now after 1 year of being totally potty trained. But the light at the end of the tunnel is there for you.

Farmers Wife said...

Yeah, why CAN'T you buy the zoo animals...not fair!