Marin has been a handful lately; which is one of my excuses, I mean reasons, for not updating more regularly. She has learned to take her clothes off and practices this skill daily. When I put her down for a nap, she immediately busies herself in the task of throwing every stitch of clothing over the side of her crib. I am almost always greeted by a naked baby after her nap-time.
As you might imagine, this is less than ideal for the obvious reason that babies are not potty trained. There are many days that this behavior necessitates multiple bedding changes. Sometimes she is thoughtful enough to strip her bedding and toss that over the side as well, it’s just not always prior to an offensive incident.
I have tried everything I can think of to keep her from getting her clothes and bedding off. She is just determined and nothing less than constant supervision seems to work. I have resigned myself to extra laundry and just possibly lost some of my will to live. Anyone that has had a baby knows about the nightmare of changing the crib bedding.
I have a lot of crib sheets from Target since they have cute stuff from Amy Coe. I found some stretchy flannel sheets years ago that are the easiest sheets ever to fit on a crib mattress. I have never seen them since. The stretchy sheets are wearing out but I use them anyway. I have devised a system of putting a regular crib sheet on first, then the mattress pad followed by the flannel sheet. This way Marin has so many layers that there is at least a possibility she won’t wake up naked on a bare mattress, crack house style.
The regular crib sheet has proven to be an almost impenetrable layer between the baby and the mattress. The problem is when it requires changing. I think the only mother that could quickly and easily replace a regular crib sheet would be a female body builder. And I don’t think they even ovulate, let alone baby-sit. So I find myself sweating and swearing while struggling to provide the baby with fresh bedding, mentally composing a letter to Amy Coe.
Dear Amy Coe,
I love your baby bedding with all the cute patterns and flowers. I continue to peruse the aisles at Target and get lured into making a purchase. You hooked me that one time that I got home and discovered the stretchy crib sheets. I keep thinking that it’s going to be like that again but it’s just not. My one suggestion is that if you are going to branch out of stretchy into non-stretchy (and less forgiving) fabrics you just might need to measure a fucking crib because they don’t fucking fit.
The fact that I can remember the almost impossible task of changing crib sheets for Claire when I was nine months pregnant with Katie doesn’t do anything to improve my attitude towards Amy Coe. It’s a miracle that kid ever got clean sheets.