Tuesday, November 25, 2008

If I Could Write Letters to Other Drivers

Dear grandpa driving the Buick,

There is no speed zone labeled "slow crawl." That handicapped license plate does not give you permission to drive handicapped. It's all about the parking. That's it.

Dear asshole that took the spot at the front of the store meant for pregnant women and mothers with babies,

You're an asshole. Either you didn't have a baby or you left it in the car. I'm pretty sure that's not what the grocery store had in mind.

Dear person driving the green Neon,

I have seen people drive faster in a parade, for God's sake.

Dear genius with the pit bull in the front seat and the baby seat in the back,

Really? That seems like a good idea? I mean, really?


Krissi said...

Ha! Can I add one (from my new life as a Fed-Ex driver) Dear Asshole in the big jacked up Ford F-150 when you see that I am parked with my flashers on, shifting into reverse and revvvvvingggg your motor does not make me want to finish my stop faster.... in fact you just bought yourself at least 3 more minutes of waiting! Happy now jackass!!!

If I had a bumper sticker for every thought I have during the day driving around the city... you'd no longer be able to see the Fed-Ex Logo on the side of my truck!!!

84thProblem said...

This is an entire blog in itself!

Keep them coming!

J. said...

Have you encountered the opens-door-in-to-traffic dickhead yet? Especially when you're on your scooter.

chrissy said...

OMG...these are great! Loved reading them...last week I think I ran into every damn one of these driving types!