Saturday, October 25, 2008

We Always Like to Follow-up Medical Business With a Burrito

Yesterday I had to take Katie to the doctor. The pediatrician is in a nearby town so it requires a drive on the highway. We were running a few minutes late and then we got behind a couple of cars that were going under the speed limit. As much as I dislike it, I had to pass cars on the two-lane highway. Since I don’t like doing it I try to get it over with as quickly as possible. The problem is that Katie doesn’t like that.

Every time I would abruptly speed up, Katie would think that I was driving recklessly and start yelling from her booster seat in the back.

Katie- “Hey! Stop that!”
Me- “Katie, I’m just trying to pass a car.”
Katie- “Mommy! The police can see you!”

We made in to the doctor’s office just a few minutes late. Katie had her physical and we discussed which vaccines that Katie was going to receive. Claire had a neurological reaction to the MMR when she was 15 months old so I have postponed vaccines for everyone. Claire cannot have the MMR again and her sisters won’t either. They are at an increased risk of having reactions as well.

I cannot even begin to describe the horror of seeing your baby have this type of reaction. Within two days of getting the vaccine, Claire had episodes of staring followed by blinking hard. I was so afraid that we had damaged our perfect little baby. Her episodes of staring and blinking went away within a week or so. I think it was the longest week of my life.

Claire’s reaction was documented in her medical records at the time. I was aware that at some point there could be a problem with the school system. The school nurse sent a note that Katie’s vaccine record needed to be provided or she would no longer be allowed to attend. So it was time to come up with a plan for the girls with their pediatrician.

All three girls will be getting the varicella (chicken pox) vaccine as well as DTaP. The MMR is obviously not an option and polio is not a concern. The problem is that the state does not allow parents to make educated, informed decisions regarding immunizations and what is best for their children. Oddly enough, the state does allow a religious exemption. So if Jesus tells you not to do it then that’s totally different. Educated decision based on risk versus benefit? Nope. Jesus? Well, sure. Not a problem.

I have a note from Katie’s doctor that states that we are using the religious exemption, except for selected vaccines. We were discussing it as she was writing the note.

Me- “I really dislike being put in the position of being forced to lie.”
Dr. D.- “I know”
Me- “I mean we’re not even a member of anything.”
Dr. D. “I know.”
Me- “I mean I guess we’re Jehovah’s Witnesses now.”

We finished up at the pediatrician’s and were back in the car when Katie requested a stop at Taco Bell. Since Taco Bell always sounds good to me I agreed that a visit was in order. We went in to place our order and Katie quickly busied herself with collecting hot sauce thinking that it was ketchup. I was ordering and then handed over my debit card to the guy behind the counter.

Taco Bell guy- “You know, this other place I used to work at, I always told them that it was going to be this way. It was going to be the way of the world and no one believed me. They have a credit card machine now. They thought I was crazy but I was just ahead of the times. I’m just a visionary.”

Me- “Uh-huh.”

I have seen the ads in the window at Subway saying that they are currently hiring “sandwich artists” but I really had no idea that I would meet a visionary at Taco Bell. The “visionary” called our number and we picked up our food and left.

We were back on the highway and soon had to slow to go through a town on our way home. Katie spotted a large Catholic church and started yelling, “Mommy! Look at that castle!”

I was pretty sure at that moment that we just might have some trouble pulling off the religious exemption.


84thProblem said...

Cool! Three posts in a week!

This one was great - did you have to write down which Jesus told you 'no MMR'?

Sass said...

I always love the visionaries behind the registers at fast food joints. Seriously.

I can't imagine how scary that must have been after your daughter's vaccine. I always anticipate it. It makes me crazy.

As if I needed something make me crazy. ;)

Bambi said...

This is one of your funniest yet! I love your kids and your blog. Thank you. visionary at Taco Bell.... too much for a monday!

J. said...

It pisses me off that religious nuttery is tolerated, while rational parents, deciding what's best for their children, are not.

S said...

That could be me working at TB! (You ever wonder WHY they didn't choose to go with initials but rather with "The Bell"?)Seriously, maybe the visionary met with some ill-fate which cut the wings of his future radically short, thereby condemning him to a life of mockery and ridicule. Fated to work for less-than-living-wages, all his prophetic visions and brilliant insights can't be properly realised in a professional venue, possibly due to a chance encounter with a corrupt legal system, or a psychotic stalker with political connections...maybe. I mean what are the chances that the person who could possibly save your health and reverse your chronic debilitating conditions would be serving you a coffee or working a mundane retail job? I mean really? This world is so f-cked up; sorry for the digression. I just hate living out my life as a troubled genious condemned to never become anything significant because of the curse of poverty and the apathy that saturates our morally bankrupt culture.

As for the vaccines, I concur. maybe you should say you are Seventh Day Adventists. (They have "food police" in their ranks who will check the contents of your frigde for things like mustard which contains DISTILLED vinegar. You do know what a sin that is don't you?)

I'm surprised you didn't use The Bell's drive-thru (hate that spelling) and say, "Oh surprize me for for five bucks and a couple of drinks!"

Andrea said...

"s" -- you should be blogging

Anonymous said...

I love when my child tells me how to drive!

And the vaccines, a coworker goes to an holistic Dr. and they gave him a note to bypass the vaccines.

It's really scary how the MMR vaccine is causing so many problems, yet the medical companies claim there is nothing wrong with the MMR

Kristie McNealy said...

I met a "visionary" at Starbucks a while back... The whole religious but not scientific objection thing really gets to me. Our youngest is having some extensive allergy testing, etc done before we can consider giving him the MMR and varicella vaccines. Strangely enough, keeping vaccination records is required for homeschooling. Not sure why. Can't I have any requirements I want?

S said...

Andrea, I supose you are right, I should be blogging. Then I would have a venue for complaining about things like the skunk that blew ass in front of my house last night; it was so intense INSIDE the house that I woke up at 3 AM, turned on lights while spraying Ozium, and looked around inside for the damn thing.
If it ain't a skunk I need to vent about, it could be my crazy (and stupid - very BAD combination) housemate who thought it was acceptible this summer when we RAN OUT OF WATER (we live in a renovated barn with a cistern), to poop on paper towels and throw them away in ziplock baggies...I'm not kidding. I don't think she knows or cares about BIOHAZARDS. Oh there is more, much more, and if I had more time - and a theme worked out - then perhaps I might blog. I just can't imagine (since no one cares in my everyday life) that anyone would care what I have to say or what is going on - no matter how interesting or insightful it may be. Thanks for the encouragement though.

Bulldog said...

Where would one look for philosophers, if not at Burger King.

Which reminds me, which BK philosopher came up with the idea of that spooky, 1/2arsed idea of a King. He creeps me out.