Saturday, September 29, 2007

Babies Scare Me (sometimes)

Last night I noticed that the baby started to have some cold symptoms. Not surprising since her big sisters have colds and cannot stop kissing the baby. Katie has said in the past, "She is just so cute I can't stop kissing her."
I usually say something to the effect of, "For God's Sake, get off that baby!"

I knew it was just a matter of time until the baby was coughing and sneezing too.

Despite knowing that it was inevitable, I still felt a horrible dread when the baby started sneezing. She is just so little and it doesn’t matter how many times that you have been through it with other kids, you still worry even more when they are little babies. At least I do.

I have trouble sleeping because of worrying about the baby at night. She sleeps in a bassinet right next to me and I wake frequently to check her. She has the kind of bassinet that has the light, music and vibration controls on the end of the bed. So when I awaken in the night I push the light button so I can see her. Sometimes I accidentally hit the wrong buttons, so she might be disturbed by light, music, vibration or sometimes all three as I wildly push buttons in the middle of the night to make sure the baby is pink. This is a normal night, in the absence of any signs of illness. Obviously I use the word “normal” rather loosely.

Now imagine me when the baby has a cold. I put off going to sleep by reading or watching TV because I have to keep checking the baby. I finally give up and go to sleep because I can no longer stay awake. I sleep for about an hour and then I wake up in a panic and start the frantic button pushing. After I manage to get the light on, I usually decide that is not enough confirmation that the baby is all right. Then I have to put my hand on her chest to feel her breathing. If her breathing is shallow, we move on to jiggling the baby. As soon as her little arms fly up in the air I know she is all right and go back to sleep. Wake up in an hour and repeat the entire procedure.

Man, motherhood can be so exhausting.

1 comment:

Janie said...

My kindred spirit! Yes, motherhood is veeeerrrrry exhausting. And we love it! Don't beat yourself up about the checking the baby thing. As a parent again after 40, there were some things that I was soooo much more relaxed about, (like dirty diapers, stuff spilled on the floor and little spots on all my shirts), but making sure the babies were breathing was major for me too. It's just so okay. I relaxed after they were 6 months....no, 1....well..... maybe I still wake up and check to see that they haven't somehow wrapped a blanket around their heads!