Sunday, January 07, 2007

Bowel Stuff

Why is it that after a certain age, people feel free to discuss the effects of various foods on their G.I. tract? For example, you never hear a young person say, ”I like them, but they don’t like me.” Have you ever heard anyone under the age of 50 say, “Oh, I can’t eat that. Onions make me erpie.” These old people have even invented their own vocabulary in an attempt to describe their gastric events in more graphic detail.

I think most women have had a friend or two over the years that are a little overly free with the personal information. They have a tendency to throw out words like constipation and diarrhea at the drop of the hat. I would have had such a difficult time talking about such personal things even with my doctor during my early 20’s. In fact, I probably would have had to hand him a typewritten wrote, blushing furiously all the while.

So, I guess that modesty fades with age. It would appear that lack of modesty really becomes apparent by about mid-30’s if my friends are at all typical. So back to the day that I discovered that my friends discuss fiber and I am, in fact, running with the Metamucil Crowd.

I was recently present while a few of my friends were discussing Metamucil. The line that stands out is from Ann. “Dave says that Metamucil changed his life”. This was immediately followed by, ”Now I’m taking it, too.” I could not help myself, before I knew it, I was sucked into a conversation about bowel health. I felt the need to ask the obvious question in response to such a ridiculous statement. I asked, “So tell me. How could Metamucil change your life?” Ann responded, ”Well, Dave says that he used to have to wipe 5 or 6 times to get all this tarry stuff off. Now he barely has to wipe at all and his butt is just clean. And since I started it, I don’t have to wipe either.”

Lovely.

1 comment:

Richard said...

Very funny, and true as well. My grandparents used to talk about their gastro-intestinal issues and they were the most uptight people in the world. They would talk about their bowels, but if you ever mentioned sex in any fashion, they would be mortified. How is that possible?